Living with melanoma skin cancer
Coping with melanoma skin cancer can be difficult. There are specialists who can help you and your family cope. There are also things you can do.
If you have advanced melanoma skin cancer it’s normal not to be able to think about anything else. But everybody reacts differently. Many people find that knowing more about their situation can make it easier to cope with.
Read more about coping with advanced melanoma skin cancer
You might have a number of different feelings when you're told you have cancer.
You may feel a range of powerful emotions at first such as feeling shocked, upset and find it difficult to take in anything else that is being said to you. Other emotions include feeling:
numb
frightened and uncertain
confused
angry and resentful
guilty
sad
You may have some or all of these feelings. Or you might feel totally different. You may feel them a few at a time or altogether, leaving you feeling exhausted.
Everyone reacts in their own way. Sometimes it's hard to take in the fact that you have cancer at all. You need to do what’s right for you to help you cope.
Read about the feelings you might have after a diagnosis of cancer
You may be more able to cope and make decisions if you have information about your type of cancer and its treatment. Information helps you to know what to expect.
Taking in information can be difficult, especially when you have just been diagnosed or given news about your outlook. Make a list of questions before you see your doctor. Take someone with you to remind you what you want to ask. They can also help you to remember the information that was given. Getting a lot of new information can feel overwhelming.
Ask your doctors and specialist nurses to explain things again if you need them to.
You might feel that you don’t want to know much information straight away. Tell your doctor or nurse. You will always be able to ask for more information when you feel ready.
Remember that you don’t have to sort everything out at once. It might take some time to deal with each issue. Ask for help if you need it.
You can also do practical things such as:
making lists to help you
having a calendar with all appointments
having goals
planning enjoyable things around weeks that might be emotionally difficult for you
You might find it helpful to talk to other people about how you are feeling.
Specialist nurses can help if you’re finding it difficult to cope or if you have any problems. They can get you the help you need. They can also give you information and signpost you to support in your local area.
Talking to your family and friends about your cancer can help and support you. But some people are scared of the emotions this could bring up and won’t want to talk. They might worry that you won't be able to cope with your situation or be afraid they will say the wrong thing.
It can strain relationships if your family or friends don't want to talk. But talking can help increase trust and support between you and them.
Help your family and friends by letting them know if you would like to talk about what’s happening and how you feel.
If you find it easier to talk to someone other than your friends and family, you may prefer to speak to a counsellor.
Read about counselling and cancer
Chat to other people affected by cancer in our online forum. Our friendly team of moderators and nurses are also on hand to support you.
Melanoma skin cancer and its treatment may cause physical changes in your body.
You may have a small scar where the melanoma was removed which may not affect you very much. But some people may have a skin graft or a scar on a very visible part of their body.
Chemotherapy, targeted or immunotherapy drugs can also cause changes to your body. This might include skin reactions such as a rash or red, dry or scaly skin. You might also have thinning of your hair or lose your hair (alopecia).
These changes may affect how you feel about yourself. This may affect your self esteem and how you relate to family, friends and other people.
Read more about coping with changes to how you look
There may also be changes inside your body that affect your energy levels and how you feel physically. You may have to cope with feeling very tired (fatigue) and lethargic during treatment and for a while afterwards.
Read about fatigue and how to manage it
Your doctor or specialist nurse can help you cope with any changes. They can also refer you to other health professionals such as:
the symptom control team
physiotherapists
psychotherapists
The physical and emotional changes you have might affect your relationships and sex life. There are things that you can do to manage this.
You and your family might need to cope with practical things including:
money matters
financial support, such as benefits, sick pay, prescription costs and grants
work issues
early retirement
childcare
Blue Badge applications
help with travel costs
changes to your house
Talk to your doctor or specialist nurse to find out who can help. You might be able to get some benefits for yourself and the person caring for you. You might also be able to get grants for heating costs, holidays and other household expenses related to your illness.
Getting help early with these things can mean that they don’t become a big issue later. It may be helpful to see a social worker. Many hospitals have a social worker available for people with cancer.
Read more about the practical support that is available to you
Your doctor or nurse will tell you who to contact if you have any problems.
If you are having treatment for melanoma skin cancer you should contact your hospital advice line if you have any side effects.
Your GP manages your healthcare when you are at home. Your specialist doctor will update your GP about your cancer care. Your GP can help with any medical problems that come up. They can also make referrals to a community service for you. The availability of the different community services may vary depending on where you live.
These nurses work in different places in your local area and may visit you in your home. They can:
give medicines or injections
check temperature, blood pressure and breathing
clean and dress wounds
monitor or set up drips
give emotional support
teach basic caring skills to family members where needed
get special equipment such as hospital beds, special mattresses, commodes or bed pans
Community services vary from area to area. Your hospital specialist nurse can tell you what is locally available to you.
Social workers can help to support you with your situation at home. They can arrange:
home helps to help with shopping or housework
home care assistants for washing and dressing
meals on wheels
respite care
Your social worker can also help with money matters by checking you get all the benefits you are entitled to. Or they can advise you about charity grants for things like extra heating costs or special diets.
Contact a social worker yourself by getting in touch with your local social services office. Or ask your hospital nurse or your GP to refer you.
Some people find great comfort in religion. You might find it helpful to talk to:
a local minister
a hospital chaplain
a religious leader of your faith
There is usually other help available but services can vary from place to place.
Sometimes local voluntary groups offer sitting services. Someone comes to stay with you while your relative goes out.
Good neighbour schemes offer befriending or practical help with shopping or transport.
Local cancer support groups often offer practical help. And they are a good source of information about services in your area. Ask your doctor or nurse about local groups.
Last reviewed: 02 Jan 2025
Next review due: 02 Jan 2028
Cancer affects family and friends too. Get tips on how to support someone with cancer and how to take care of yourself.
If you've had melanoma skin cancer, it's important to keep an eye on your skin and protect it from the sun whilst still getting enough vitamin D.
Get support to cope with emotional, practical and physical issues when you have advanced melanoma skin cancer.
The symptoms of advanced melanoma can depend on where the cancer has spread to. It's possible to have treatment to control many of the symptoms.
Organisations, support groups and other resources are available to help you cope with melanoma skin cancer and its treatment.
Melanoma develops in cells called melanocytes. You have these in your skin and other parts of your body. Melanoma that starts in the skin is called melanoma skin cancer.
About Cancer generously supported by Dangoor Education since 2010. Learn more about Dangoor Education
What to ask your doctor about clinical trials.
Meet and chat to other cancer people affected by cancer.
Questions about cancer? Call freephone 0808 800 40 40 from 9 to 5 - Monday to Friday. Alternatively, you can email us.
