Living with breast cancer
You may find it difficult coping with a diagnosis of breast cancer both practically and emotionally. The following information might help you to cope.
You are likely to feel very uncertain and anxious about the future knowing you have cancer. You may find it impossible to think about anything other than having cancer.
Some people say a diagnosis of cancer helps them appreciate ordinary everyday things much more than they did.
Your doctors and nurses are there to help you. Its important to ask questions and contact them when you need them.
You might have a number of different feelings when you're told you have cancer.
You may feel shocked and upset and find it difficult to take in anything else that is being said to you. Other emotions include feeling:
numb
frightened and uncertain
confused
angry and resentful
guilty
sad
You may have some or all of these feelings. Or you might feel totally different. You may feel them a few at a time or altogether, leaving you feeling exhausted.
Everyone reacts in their own way. Sometimes it's hard to take in the fact that you have cancer at all. You need to do what’s right for you to help you cope.
You may think you should be talking all this through with your partner, other family members or close friends. But you may find this really hard to do.
Or you may want to talk to someone straight away to help you work out how you are feeling.
There is no set way of handling your news, but experiencing different feelings is a natural part of coming to terms with having cancer. All sorts of feelings are likely to come and go, some may even come up when you are not expecting it.
Read more about cancer and your emotions
You may be more able to cope and make decisions if you have information about your type of cancer and its treatment. Information helps you to know what to expect.
Taking in information can be difficult, especially when you have just been diagnosed or given news about your outlook. Make a list of questions before you see your doctor. Take someone with you to remind you what you want to ask. They can also help you to remember the information that was given. Getting a lot of new information can feel overwhelming.
Ask your doctors and specialist nurses to explain things again if you need them to.
You might feel that you don’t want to know much information straight away. Tell your doctor or nurse. You will always be able to ask for more information when you feel ready.
Remember that you don’t have to sort everything out at once. It might take some time to deal with each issue. Ask for help if you need it.
You can also do practical things such as:
making lists to help you
having a calendar with all appointments
having goals
planning enjoyable things around weeks that might be emotionally difficult for you
Talking to your friends and relatives about your cancer can help and support you. But some people are scared of the emotions this could bring up and won’t want to talk. They might worry that you won't be able to cope with your situation or be afraid they will say the wrong thing.
It can strain relationships if your family or friends don't want to talk. But talking can help increase trust and support between you and them.
Help your family and friends by letting them know if you would like to talk about what’s happening and how you feel.
Find out ways to help manage your emotions
You might find it easier to talk to someone other than your own friends and family.
Or you may want to see a counsellor.
You can chat with other people affected by cancer in our online forum.
You usually have a clinical nurse specialist called a breast care nurse who follows you from when you get your diagnosis, through treatment and in follow up. They can help you if you’re finding it difficult to cope or if you have any problems. They can get you the help you need as well as give you information.
You may find it helpful to go to a support group to talk to other people affected by cancer.
Find breast cancer support organisations
Some people find great comfort in religion. You might find it helpful to talk to:
a local minister
a hospital chaplain
a religious leader of your faith
Breast cancer and its treatments are likely to cause physical problems. These might affect the way you feel about yourself.
Changes to the shape of one or both breasts and scarring after surgery can affect your self esteem and how you relate to other people. Some women might also have some ongoing discomfort and soreness in their breast after surgery.
Some hormone treatments can also cause joint and bone pain. Talk to your doctor or nurse about this as they can prescribe medication to help.
Tiredness and lethargy can be a problem during treatment. Resting but also doing some gentle physical activity can help.
Read about tiredness and cancer
Some treatments can cause an early menopause and you might have symptoms such as hot flushes and sweats. Your nurse will talk to you about how to cope with the symptoms.
Find out about hot flushes and sweats
An early menopause also means that you are no longer able to become pregnant. This can be very difficult to cope with if you were hoping to have children in the future. Your doctor will talk to you about this before your treatment. It's sometimes possible to store your eggs or embryos before treatment starts.
Ways to try and preserve fertility
Feelings of fear or panic can be overwhelming at times. There are things you can do to help you cope with such difficult emotions.
How to cope with fear, anxiety and panic
The physical and emotional changes you have might affect your relationships and sex life. There are things that you can do to manage this.
Read about cancer, relationships and sex
It is important that you feel as well as you possibly can. Tell your doctor or nurse about any symptoms you have so they can help to control them.
Practical things you and your family might need to cope with include:
money matters
financial support, such as benefits, sick pay and grants
work issues
childcare
Blue Badge applications
help with travel costs
changes to your house
Talk to your doctor or specialist nurse to find out who can help.
Getting help early with these things can mean that they don’t become a big issue later. It may be helpful to see a social worker. Many hospital cancer departments have a social worker available for patients.
The social worker can let you know which benefits or grants you can claim and help with the claiming process. You might be able to get some benefits for yourself and the person caring for you. You might also be able to get grants for heating costs, holidays and other household expenses related to your illness.
Find out more about coping with practically matters
You might need some care and support at home due to breast cancer, its treatment or when you have secondary breast cancer. A lot of practical and emotional support is available to you.
Your GP manages your healthcare when you are at home. They can help with any medical problems that come up. They can also make referrals to a community service for you. The availability of the different community services may vary, depending on where you live.
These nurses work in different places in your local area and may visit you in your home. They can:
give medicines or injections
check temperature, blood pressure and breathing
clean and dress wounds
monitor or set up drips
give emotional support
teach basic caring skills to family members where needed
get special equipment, such as commodes or bed pans
Community specialist palliative care nurses include Macmillan nurses and hospice nurses. They specialise in symptom management such as pain control, sickness, and other cancer symptoms. They also give emotional support to you and your carers.
Social workers can help to support you with your situation at home. They can arrange:
home helps to help with shopping or housework
home care assistants for washing and dressing
meals on wheels
respite care
Your social worker can also help with money matters by checking you get all the benefits you are entitled to. Or they can advise you about charity grants for things like extra heating costs or special diets.
Contact a social worker yourself by getting in touch with your local social services office. Or ask your hospital nurse or your GP to refer you.
Find out about what financial help there is
There is usually other help available but services can vary from place to place.
Sometimes local voluntary groups offer sitting services. Someone comes to stay with you while your relative goes out.
Good neighbour schemes offer befriending or practical help with shopping or transport.
Local cancer support groups often offer practical help. And they are a good source of information about services in your area. Ask your doctor or nurse about local groups.
Read about the breast cancer organisations and support groups
Some women develop lymphoedema during or after their treatment. This is a long term swelling due to fluid build up. Lymphoedema specialist nurses often run clinics and provide practical and emotional support.
Read about lymphoedema after breast cancer treatment
In this video Yvonne shares her story of life after breast cancer and how she coped when her treatment finished. She talks about some of the physical effects of the cancer and its treatment and what helped her through.
She and her sister Sonia also talk about what it was like going to check up appointments, something that is not always easy. Coping after treatment finishes can be challenging and hearing about how other people cope can help.
Sharon story is about her diagnosis, treatment and how she coped with life after cancer.
‘It is possible to regain your life and in lots of ways be stronger, happier and healthier.’
Read Sharon's story about her cancer and how she coped
Angela had a mammogram and was diagnosed with breast cancer.
"I have a friend that has had breast cancer and she has helped me."
Read about how Angela coped with her cancer
JoC was diagnosed with lobuar cancer in 2021.
"Tell people how you feel. Don't keep it to yourself. There's lots of us just waiting to talk and share our cancer experiences. People support is a big medicine when you're feeling low."
This is JoC's story about her diagnosis, treatment and coping
Sonia was diagnosed in 2020. Sonia's story is about her diagnosis and treatment.
"I think it’s always a bigger shock for family members as they fear the worst. Admittedly I cried."
"To be honest I felt more emotional when it was all over and probably cried more after than I did when I was first told."
Last reviewed: 01 Sept 2023
Next review due: 01 Sept 2026
You may find it difficult to adjust to changes after your breast cancer surgery. There is help and support available.
About 1 in 5 women get lymphoedema after breast cancer treatment. Find out how you can lower your risk of getting it and things you can to to help manage it.
Treatment for breast cancer depends on a number of factors. Find out about breast cancer treatments, where and how you have them, and how to cope with possible side effects.
Get practical, physical and emotional support to help you cope with a diagnosis of breast cancer, and life during and after treatment.
Secondary breast cancer means that a cancer that began in the breast has spread to another part of the body such as the bones or lungs.
Find out about breast cancer, including symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, survival, and how to cope with the effects on your life and relationships.
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